THISISAWAR.COM: JANUARY 2014 - MAY 2014

Welcome!

This month, we're going to address loss, which is, like love, one of the great universal experiences. Have you experienced a life-changing loss, material or emotional? How did it affect you? And, most importantly, what constructive means or attitudes helped you through the night? If you write to us here, we'll publish the best experiences. In the interim, read our sections on grief and depression here and here; you'll find a lot to make you think. And if you need a break, read this and this.

The suicides of fashion designer L'Wren Scott, Mick Jagger's longtime partner, and the New-Zealand-born Australian model and television host Charlotte Dawson have caused us all to address the issues of love and loss. In 2003, The Eclipse: A Memoir of Suicide, Antonella Gambotto-Burke's account of the loss of her ex-fiance and beloved brother, was published. Her ex-fiance and her brother were popular, glamorous, professional success stories - one edited a major magazine; the other was an executive at an investment bank. On paper, the kind of men mothers want their daughters to marry. But the reality of their lives was very, very different. One was plagued by addiction - to sex, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol; the other by unrelenting darkness. Both men came from emotionally toxic families, and both had been raised to believe that public image is significantly more important than private reality. "Losing a beloved scars," Gambotto-Burke writes. Battered by grief, she took refuge in her work, shying away from the intimacy she had learned to associate with anguish.

And came to the realization that changed her life.

This year marks the tenth anniversary of The Eclipse's publication. Since its first tentative steps into global consciousness, The Eclipse has been published in four languages and loved by thousands; Gambotto-Burke is regularly told by readers that it has saved their lives. "What happens to those of us shattered by the suicide of a loved one?" writes bestselling author Anna-Leena Härkönen in the preface. "Antonella Gambotto-Burke has given us a voice." Härkönen continues: "She wants to know; she wants to understand; she wants to survive. Because first and foremost, The Eclipse is a story of survival. Gambotto-Burke drags us into the depths with her, and then she helps us re-emerge." Buy this unforgettably beautiful, life-affirming book at Amazon.

Another step you can take toward happiness is to borrow or buy this DVD. We watched it and fell in love (who can help falling in love with Louise Hay? I mean, really). It is simply impossible not to feel even marginally better after watching it.

 

We are also great believers in posting constructive messages up around the house - some of us use Louise Hay cards (see below) , others just scrawl messages in thick black pen on paper - so that everywhere you look, the news is good good good.

Because the first step to happiness, really, is believing in the possibility of change. Everything flows from there. 

Our inspired Eastern medicine specialist Sarah George teaches ten things most people don't know about herbal medicine here.

Finally, those of you who are parents will appreciate that perfection is an ever-shifting mirage. But Laura Markham can bring you close. An angel in mufti, Laura has written a book that no parent can afford to be without, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. Frankly, it should be handed out with every baby. Most parenting books focus on changing your child's behaviour; Laura's focuses on regulating your responses, staying connected, and coaching instead of controlling. "We all want to raise children with whom we stay close, children who adore us, children who carry on our legacy of love when we've gone," she writes. Because who ever enjoyed being controlled? So get yourself a copy and subscribe here!

And if you haven't already, please sign on immediately for free wireless amber alerts - you may just save the life of a child. And whatever you do, don't forget to print a number of these up, fill them out to yourself or one you love to whatever sum you like, and let the universe do the rest! You don't have to worry about how, when, or why ... if your intention is loving, the money will follow. We tried it and - unbelievably enough - it works! So thank you to the lovely Rhonda Byrne for The Secret.

Marcus Aurelius, immortalized in Ridley Scott's film Gladiator, once said: "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts; therefore guard accordingly." In The Deeper Wound, Deepak Chopra writes: "Suffering can be defined as the pain that makes life seem meaningless … Don't be afraid to ask for contact. Reach out." If you are feeling suicidal, click here.

Browse the site at your leisure. Send relevant links to those you think would benefit. Bookmark the site. And, most importantly, enjoy. (There are also Yahoo! groups relevant to just about every circumstance.) You may want to donate five dollars to Children of the Night, an organization that saves abused children from prostitution. To read more, please click here; to donate, click here. Or buy a family in need the means to support themselves from the Smiles Gift Catalogue here.

Otherwise, enjoy exploring our site (below) and have a wonderful, true, and life-affirming month!

With blessings from all of us at thisisawar.com

* We are not affiliated with any religion, nor do we seek donations. All we want is this: readers interested in intelligent writing. *

... and now, scroll down ...

ABUSE
anxiety + panic attacks
bullying + teasing (also for adults)
domestic violence
children damaged by violence
emotional abuse
female sexual abuse
find the right therapist
how to heal your life
learn to love yourself
male sexual abuse
pornography: the impact on children
prejudice
recover from trauma
sexual abuse
teenage violence
the axis of depression
the impact of abuse
the nature of abuse: adolf hitler
the ultimate result of abuse
trauma: the treatment

ADDICTION
addiction: for partners
addiction: for partners - how to cope
alcoholism
- children of alcoholics
anxiety + panic attacks
drug addiction
- children of drug abusers
find the right therapist
gambling
health insurance issues
how to heal your life
learn to love yourself
loss of love through addiction
love addiction
pornography addiction
- pornography: the impact on children
prescription pill addiction
sex addiction
sleeping difficulties
the roots of addiction
tobacco addiction

CHILDREN'S ISSUES
anxiety + panic attacks
attention deficit disorder
- ADD/ADHD coaching
bullying + teasing (also for adults)
child health
children of AIDS victims
children of alcoholics
children of drug addicts
children with mentally ill or depressed parents
divorce: the impact on children
down's syndrome
helping bereaved children
help terminally ill children
homeopathic remedies
how to heal your life
just some of the 437 questions
make a child confident
little soul + the sun
loneliness in children
loss of a child
pornography + children
prejudice
the princess bride
trauma: the treatment
raising a child: the rules
violence against children
why children get depressed
why we can't be on vacation while we're still in the driveway

DEBTS
anxiety + panic attacks
awaken that giant, by anthony robbins
bankruptcy
debt-related depression
failure is a gift, by anthony robbins
find the right therapist
five steps out of debt
gambling problems
health insurance problems
it's a wonderful life
preparing for tough times
reevaluate your ambitions
sane perspectives on debt
the gifts of debt
unemployment

DEPRESSION + ANGER
anger
- anger: the solution
antidepressants: the facts
anxiety + panic attacks
cooperation: why it works
debt-related depression
depression: getting through the days
discouragement
eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia)
find the right therapist
homeopathic remedies
how giving of yourself benefits you
learn to love yourself
learned helplessness: the axis of depression
loneliness (general)
loss of love through depression
postnatal depression (PND)
seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
shame + violence
sleeping difficulties
suffering: a new perspective
suicidal urges
- suicide: the warning signs
the biochemistry of hope
the little soul + the sun
the nature of depression
trauma: the treatment
want a different life?

GENDER ISSUES
dave barry's guide to guys
fatherhood
homosexuality
manhood
parenthood
some like it hot
womanhood

GRIEF
a bereaved sister/fiancee speaks
antidepressants: the facts
anxiety + panic attacks
complicated grief
find the right therapist
healing from grief
helping bereaved children
loss of a child
loss of a sibling
loss of a sibling: common reactions
loss of a parent
loss of a partner
loss through murder
- when a child is murdered
- a murder in the family
- when a friend or coworker is murdered
- when a parent is murdered
loss through suicide
- suicidal urges
- suicide: the ultimate memoir
- suicide: the warning signs
shake yourself free of grief
sleeping difficulties
suffering: a new perspective
the axis of depression
the nature of grief
trauma: recovery
trauma: the treatment

HAVE FUN CHANGING THE WORLD
AIDS
arts
cancer
dolphins + the disabled
environmental
- environmental links
how you benefit from giving
international aid
laughter
medical
mentoring
prison
starlight
trek in nepal

A HEALTHY LIFE
adventure
biochemistry of hope
child health
cold sores + shingles: regain your smile
cooperation: why it works
deepak chopra interview
homeopathic remedies
how to heal your life
learn to love yourself
optimism: the only philosophy
radical healing - a new approach
sleeping difficulties
yoga: the art of breathing

HOPE
cooperation: why it works
happiness
how to heal your life
it's a wonderful life
learn to love yourself
the biochemistry of hope
the healing power of laughter

ILLNESS
a western doctor's look at alternative health care
attention deficit disorder
- ADD/ADHD coaching
AIDS
- an HIV-positive writer speaks out
- help those with AIDS
cancer
- cancer as a turning point
- cancer: how you can help
cold sores + shingles: regain your smile
health insurance problems
help terminally ill children
homeopathic remedies
how to heal your life
immune system strengthening diet
laughter donations
learn to love yourself
medical personnel
radical healing - a new approach
sleeping difficulties
suffering: a new perspective
the biochemistry of hope
the healing power of laughter
the loneliness of the sick
yoga: the art of breathing

INSPIRATION
a star
corinthians
david staume's thoughts on life
encountering the sky
footprints
honest abe
how you benefit from a generous spirit
HUG
glenn klausner's page
never give up
reasons to be thankful
the biochemistry of hope
the little soul + the sun
the meaning of inspiration
turn your life around
you're going to change the world

 

OLD AGE
a new perspective on growing old
donate your laughter
euthanasia information
cooperation: why it works
health insurance problems
help disabled children
help lonely children
help terminally ill children
homeopathic remedies
how to heal your life
illness: a new perspective
loneliness (general)

louise hay at 73: an inspiring interview

sleeping difficulties
suffering: a new perspective

the biochemistry of hope
the world needs your wisdom
yoga: the art of breathing

PARENTHOOD
anxiety + panic attacks
birth order
child health
daycare: what all parents should know
divorce: the impact on children
down's syndrome
fatherhood
health insurance issues
just some of the 437 questions
homeopathic remedies
how affection shapes the infant brain
how love makes your baby smarter
how to heal your life
learn to love yourself
make a child confident
make a sick child's dreams come true
raising a child: the rules
reflux: the popular myth of colic / baby's best diet
shame + violence
smacking: why it doesn't work
the healing power of laughter
the world authority on child-rearing
why we can't be on vacation while we're still in the driveway
yoga: the art of breathing

PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU
rudolph ballentine
martha beck
dave barry
brandon bays
deepak chopra
margaret dent
antonella gambotto-burke
louise hay
vicki iovine
mark matousek
alice miller

sandi kahn shelton
anthony robbins
james van praagh
neale donald walsch

PREGNANCY
abortion: find a safe place + support
anxiety + panic attacks
child health
conception
down's syndrome
fatherhood
find the right therapist
girlfriends' guide to pregnancy
girlfriends' guide to toddlers
homeopathic remedies
just some of the 437 questions
how to heal your life
immune system strengthening diet
loneliness (general)
postnatal depression

raising a child: the rules
sleeping difficulties
sleeping through the night + other lies
the healing power of laughter
yoga: the art of breathing

RELATIONSHIPS
are you heading for a split?
a story about love
adult children of mentally ill or depressed parents
another story about love
are you codependent?
conflict: end the cycle
cooperation: why it works
how to know god
divorce: the impact
- divorce: the impact on children
find the right therapist
how to heal your life
heartbreak: male
homeopathic remedies
how you benefit from giving
when the other person is to blame
learn to love yourself
loneliness (general)
loss of a partner
on the nature of love
questions everyone should ask before committing
recover from all heartbreak
surviving the loss of love
the axis of depression
the path to love
top ten relationship mistakes
trauma: the treatment
twelve tips for a great relationship
warning signs in a relationship
why men stop believing in love

SITE CREDITS
about us
designer + developer

TEENAGE ISSUES
bullying + teasing (also for adults)
cooperation: why it works
dave barry's guide to guys
dave barry on maths
find a mentor
find sympathetic support
homeopathic remedies
homosexuality
how to heal your life
learn to love yourself
loneliness
make little children laugh
optimism: the only philosophy
prejudice
shame + violence
study problems
teenage violence
teenagers with mentally ill or depressed parents
the axis of depression
the little soul + the sun
the world needs your energy
trauma: the treatment
yoga: the art of breathing

TRAUMA + RECOVERY
anxiety + panic attacks
bullying + teasing (also for adults)
find the right therapist
homeopathic remedies
how to heal your life
raising a child: the rules
recover from trauma
surviving the loss of love
the axis of depression
the impact of abuse
the little soul + the sun
trauma: the treatment
warning signs of trauma-related stress

UNEMPLOYMENT
bankruptcy + debt
find a job now!
find the right therapist
health insurance problems
how to heal your life
it's a wonderful life
learn to love yourself
reevaluate your ambitions
shame
the axis of depression
the pain of unemployment
the transition to unemployment

VIOLENCE
bullying + teasing (also for adults)
domestic violence
emotional violence
find the right therapist
prejudice
recover from trauma
shame + violence
teenage violence + crime
trauma: the treatment
violence against children
violence against the self